Tuesday, July 25, 2006

The Pale Host

The carrion birds circled, as the always do, over the battlefield. The cries of the dying were beginning to end and the sun was going down.
Hezrakiah lay amongst the dying and the dead, he slipped from life to unconciousness several times during the day. He knew his only chance was if one of the chirugeons were to find him. Each time he tried to raise his hand or utter a word darkness swam over him and he would once again know the cool embrace of near death. He looked up at the sky as the sun sank beneath the horizon. The chirugeons would have abandonded the battle field and other things would take up the scavenging.
He dreamed of home, his mother and sisters that he left behind when he was conscripted into the King's Army. To defend the homeland and preserve the Light, that is what he was told. Marching next to a column of the King's finest knights he wondered why anyone would dare attack such a powerful King. That was until he saw the enemy.
The sun was long gone now and he woke to the cooling mist as a fog slowly raised from the ground. He fought to keep his fear down. He had heard the tales of the other things that stalk the battlefield after dark. They would smell his fear and come to him, he had to stay focused and awake.
He was slipping into unconciuosness again, despite his fight to remain awake, he knew he was dying, yet he would not give up. It was the crying that captured his attention. He rolled over to his right side, a flare of white heat pain shot through his body as the crushed shoulder contacted the ground. He nearly screamed and his head swarmed in darkness, but he fought though it and focused on the crying. There in the darkness, was a figure, hazy and indistinct but there none the less. It was kneeling on the ground crying looking up at what appered to be a glowing lantern. Hezrakiah stared in disbelief as he watched the crying man stand and follow the glowing orb toward a strong light. Another figure was praising the powers of the Light as he followed another orb. One man began pleading "please, let me stay, my family it needs me" the orb simply winked once and the man lowered his head and began to follow it wordlessly. Each of the faithful were guided to the center of the field by a single glowing orb. Each were comforted, and their orbs never left their side as they waited. When the final soul joined the group a peircing white light descended from the sky and the Eternal Stair was visible. the Faithful began their journey up the stair to the everlasting joy they had earned.The faithful were being redeemed from the battlefield, Hezrakiah wondered wether or not he would be among them come the dawn.
The villages along the river were among the first to be overrun by the enemy. The few old men and women left to defend them were no match for the marauding armies that pillaged them. The Ogre Barons of the Northland made quick work of the river folk and began to march on the capitol city of Alm. Hezrakiah hoped that his family had escaped yet he knew better. They were dead, just like the familes of all the the men he was consripted with. He hoped that the glowing orbs had come to escort his sisters to the afterlife, and he hoped they would come for him as well.
Hezrakiah fought himself into a sitting position. His right shoulder and arm hung uselessly at his side. it throbbed a constant pain reminding him of the beast that smashed him with a club. It smelled of stale sweat and musty earth, it stood nearly twice his hieght and even though his spear was thrust deep into the creatures thigh it still swatted him away with ease. Crushing his shoulder and leaving his arm useless. Looking down at it he was amazed it didnt hurt more than it did, of course thats the way it is with the most serious wounds, they hurt less than others.
Glancing around the darkened battlefield he caught glimpses of movement, shadows amongst the darkening land. A quick flash of light, a reflection of steel perhaps? Who would still be out on the field after dark? Knowing that the others stalk the field was enough to keep most men well away from a battlefield even years after a battle. There it was again! A flash of light like the reflection of a blade being swung. A cold chill climbed ever so slowly up his spine as realization came to him. The Pale Host was here! The faithful had been released now the damned would be next. He focused where the last flash was and finally picked out the darkened figure. Long black robes nearly obscured it as it moved without sound across the feild, seeking its next mark. Hovering above a young lad it raised its scythe above its head, with a flash of light it stuck down into the lads chest. As it pulled the scythe from the body a flash of light sparked and the soul of the young man was ripped from the young mans chest and was left standing next to The Pale One. As Hezrakiah looked across the field the same scene was played out hundreds of times. One of the Pale ones would strike a corpse in the chest and then tear the soul from the body to be sent on to the afterlife. If the Faithful had been redeemed then only the damned remained on the feild.
Hundreds of souls wandered about looking for somewhere to go, many wandered aimlessly about until the first growl was heard. Distant off, the sound started and then it multiplied a hundred fold as the grew closer. At the edge of the feild the first sign of their arrival was seen. A deep red glow began to spread across the feild and dark shapes loped over the bodies of the fallen toward the chosen souls. The hellhounds quickly spotted the damned souls and began herding them to the opposite side of the field. Many of the sould tried to run only to be jumped on and savagely mauled until they crawled back into the throng of the damned. The hounds herded the souls into a large group and encircled it. As the final hound took its place they howled in unison and the ground opened up and swallowed the damned. The damned had been taken from the land and Hezrakiah sat in the darkness wondering at all he had see this night.
He looked down at his body, his crushed arm bled no more and the pain had stopped entirely. That was when he noticed what scared him the most. He was not breathing! The Pale host had gathered together and were now pointing in his direction. He turned and climbed to his feet. Fear overtook his senses as he ran toward the edge of the field. He ran and ran as fast as his broken and exhausted body would carry him. He didnt look back, if he would have he would have seen that the Pale host was gaining on him and that there was no hope for his escape. the Pale Host very rarely misses a soul and when they do humanity is stalked by one of the creatures of the night. They closed ever so close and he could hear them whispering among themselves, he knew the end was here and fear gripped him in an icy grasp. A cold hand touched his shoulder and turned him around. He looked into the face that stared back coldly at him. Hezrakiah knew what was to happen next, for no man can look into the face of Death himself and rejoin the ranks of the living. Hezrakiah was not sure what this meant, but he knew that his unlife had just begun.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Finding the Diary

The smell was enough to keep most everyone out. Everyone except me of course.
Each day we draw straws to see who will explore outside of our makeshift shelter. Today it was me. I both dread and exalt this position. The fact I must leave our shelter to find the very things we need to survive drives us into the danger that the outside world now presents to us.
I enterend the lower level of the apartment building quietly, the door hanging open on one hinge. I could hear no movement inside as I crept through the opening into the darkened entry hall.
We learned early on that some places were better off avoided. The bigger stores were pretty much cleared out. The smaller stores were often untouched in the mad rush to escape our hunters. Private residences were hit or miss and more often than not harbored the terror that we hide from.
The hall was littered with objects strewn about. Broken furniture, the light fixture haning from its cord from the ceiling gently swayed back and forth as if moved by an unseen hand. It cast a shadow on the wall that reminded me of a hangmans noose. These are days of bleak thoughts and it has been a long time since I heard anyone laugh.
The madness crept up on me and I had to fight hard not begin laughing, or crying or just something, anything to break the silence. But to give in would be certain death for me.
Thats the reason only one goes out at a time, so that when you break down, which you eventually will, you wont bring harm to anyone else in the group. Oh, and you wont survive long enough to bring them back to the hidden sanctuary that we have.
The downstairs rooms were a ramshakle of insanity, furniture, toys, broken appliances and the everyday trappings of what life once was greeted me in every room. Nothing of value in them, no food, no medicines, nothing. In the corner of living room was a long rolled up blanket, but by the outward stains on it I was not going to open it and see waht was inside. Somethings are better left unseen.
Slowly I slipped up the stairs to the second floor. Bedrooms would offer clothing and blankets for the coming winter and perhaps a medicine chest in the upstairs bath.
The rooms were open and the sunlight poured in the windows, the curtains had been torn away leaving the glaring sun to pound in. The heat was almost unbearable up here. The stench was coming from down the hall, I still hadnt heard any sound so i crept down the hall to a closed door. I listened closely at the door. A thrumming sound, almost a hum is what greeted me. I slipped the door open and pushed it wide open. A black cloud of flies, thousands of them swarmed the room. They swarmed out the door and all over me. Frantically I swatted and batted at them, momentarily losing my miniscule grip on reality as the tried to get into my nose and eyes. I back out of the room and allowed them to fly unobstructed thoughout the house.
When they had mostly left I re entered the room. Yes, the stench was horrid and coming from in this room. Its funny how once you smell rot, you know exactly what it is coming from. The bedroom was a gold mine of stuff. Blankets, clothing, I found two guns and some ammunition. A shot gun was layed out on the bed and two boxes of shells were with it. The pistol was still gripped in the corpses hand and one chamber was empty. In the corpses other hand was a notebook, a diary. It was a day by day accounting of what had happened to this young woman. It came as no surprise to me that the hole in her head was the size as the missing round from the pistol!

Friday, July 14, 2006

Badge Number 71756, Master Card Fraud Division

You ever get prank phone calls anymore? I don't mean telemarketers or wrong numbers, I mean out and out prank calls.
Well I have had my share of making and receiving them (aint that right Wes?), and I am sure we all have made and received a few of them. However 12:29 am is the wrong time to try one, especially if the number you are calling is Jillians cell phone! Some half drunk sounding guy on the other end tried a " This is Master Card and we want to redeem your card" type thing.
Rule one: Always have a way to verify that the other person is not using their caller ID
Rule two: if calling a cell phone full well realize they ALL record the incoming number
And finally Rule three: Dont leave a message in the mail box and have your buddies in the background be heard saying "its still on dude"
So, what did we do? Well badge number 71756(me) made a call to the number and let him know in no uncertain terms that credit card fraud was not only a finable offense but could result in jail time. Not giving him time to fully organize his thought I continued my return prank assult by assuring him that Master Card would prosecute to the fullest extent of the law anyone that would use their name for fraud or identity theft. In between the "uuuuh's and ummmm's" I fully assured him that Master Card was investigating an "open complaint ticket". the guy on the other end assured me that it was just a buddy of his making a prank call.
You know the funniest part to me? I have no idea who this guy was!

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Nurse Ratchet~Jillians post

"If Mr. McMurphy doesn't want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can arrange that he can have it some other way. But I don't think that he would like it. " (Nurse Ratchet, One Flew Over the Cukoo's Nest 1975).
Apparently, this is the nurse I am comparable too...
Today, after a resident at work asked me, "Please blow my nose Jill, it won't stop running!" and I did so, I was then told how inadequately of a job I did! This isn't the first time she told me I didn't know how to wipe a nose. I don't quite understand how I can not be "getting it right", as I blow my own nose fine, and my three year old daughter does not complain of my abilities of nose wiping...(do not ask chem, as i do not, and will not blow his nose, unless we are of course, in our 80's and helpless).
But again, today, I am not meeting up to her nose blowing standards. I would have shrugged it off, and kept going about my day, but then she drove her wheelchair back to her table, and proceeded to tell her entire table of geriatric friends how incompetent I am with nose blowing. (no comment necessary chem, i know what you are thinking).
After they have a good laugh about it, they finish their lunch. She later beckons me to her room to, "take a look at my urine." As I walk up to her bedside, she states, "well there is nurse ratchet now!"
Are you freakin' kiddin' me?!
Don't ever, I mean EVER, ask me to wipe your runny, snot drippin' nose again, goes through my mind. But instead I smile polietly and say, "I know I'm your favorite nurse, and am hurt that you would incinuate otherwise!" And continue on with my urine inspection so I can chart and get on with the day....
Perhaps I should just take the name as a compliment and shut the hell up, I don't know, but I felt like what better place to share my day and make others laugh then here, as well as make my posting debut. Whatever....

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Incendiary Goodness

So there I was......
After my lovely wife Jillian goes and wins 300 dollars of "illegal" fireworks she goes and poses a question "Where are we going to lite these things?". After a bit of discussion she says "call your dad"! Her intentions were to invite my parents along to trek over to Missouri and blow some stuff up. That is not what happened.
So there we were in my dads backyard, with a truck load of explosives ready to lite. We started things off with a little one, then a bigger one, then one of the biggest. Emboldened by the fact that no police had come screaming in like the anti terrorist squads they think they are, we continue.
Sometime along in there while I was lighting them Jillian decides to try her hand at it. I set up a nice one that shoots flaming sparks and it was a beautiful site. My wife setting things ablaze! Then she goes over and picks a relatively harmless looking one......
It starts off without a problem, nice roman candle type thing shooting in the air, when they got up in the air they spin around and shoots off lots and lots of sparks, very cool they were.....
It fell over....
The first one shot past us and landed up on the back deck of my dads house. I had time to look back and see his BBQ grill silohouetted in the light af a flaming firework! Dad merely looking on in disbelief. What was my wife doing? Laughing. The second one shot past us and hit the fence not 2 feet from my dads car and bounced into the pine tree growing happily there! from within the tree you could hear the "WHOOOSH" of it spinning away as sparks oozed out from the branches. My dad looks on in disbelief and says "that was close" and my wife, my loving and caring wife is laughing hysterically and maniacally, like an arsonist at the whole situation!
That is a side if Jillian I had not seen before, the I like to play with flaming toys side!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

The Procession

The prosession wound through the streets toward the cemetery. Armed honor guards lined the avenue as the pall bearers bore the casket upon their shoulders.
"David, you were a model citizen, helping your fellow man as you could in times of need", the priest intoned as the procession made its way the the barricades and fences. "You fought bravels in the days after the "Long Night" and it was you that discovered the stockpile of seed that now bears fruit in our fields", he continued the eulogy as the gurads opened the gates to the burial ground. A dull thud came from within the casket as the pall bearers shifted the caskets' weight on thier shoulders, their faces down cast in apparent shame, that it would happen to a man such as David.
"When the wall was breached and they poured in, it was you that sealed the hole with a hotwired truck and held them off until help could arrive", the priest continued the heroic tales of the deceased as the pall bearers lowered the casket to the platform next to the open grave. The crowd that gathered to see their fallen hero off began to grow impatient and worried looks began to slowly spread as another thud came from within the casket when the pall bearers placed it on the carpet covered platform.
The priest knelt by the casket as he performed the final rites of his station, "David you were beloved of our people and as much as you will be missed, you are no longer welcome among the land of the living". The priest placed the iron lock on the casket lid just as a low moan came from within the casket, and as it was lowered into the ground, the dull thuds became a steady pounding!

Monday, July 03, 2006

Happy Fourth of July!!!!!

We have reached another Independence Day and to quote the Simpsons "What better way to celebrate the freedoms of America that by blowing up a small piece of it"!
So, the wife and I were going to the store and decided to get Ady-bear some small things to play with like sparklers and smoke bombs and the like. Since we live so close to Missouri we decided to go over there and get them. Our Mission: Sparklers, Smoke bombs, Snakes (yeah you remember those), Snap Caps, you know all the things we had when we were kids that we thought were cool. What does my wife go and do?!?!?! She goes and wins a REALLY FREAKIN BIG fireworks kit with like 4 inch mortars and crap! Radio contest just take a ticket "Honey, we probably wont be here that long" Yep the ticket she got was the winning one and now we have 300 bucks worth of incendiary goodness to play with tomorrow! My wife, bringer(and winner) of explosives! Gotta love her!
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